Wednesday, January 31, 2007

I guess I knew this would happen?

I was looking at pics of Asher the other day. And then got into looking at Israel pictures. It's so weird - it seems so long ago - like a dream sometimes. I have such little contact with people on the other campuses (uh oh, how many are reading this?). Too weird.
Being back in NY is going to be weird. I was only close with a couple of people from there - - but I generally have a different way of thinking about things than most of them. I guess I'll have the opposite of what I have here. Here, my life is HUC students. There, my life is going to be outside of HUC. And I'll just show up there for the school stuff.
The reactions of my classmates and teachers are so supportive. I feel more support than I have since I got here -- they all really see what i've been through and realize how right this move is for me.
I'm trying not to count down - but I do leave in 6 months and a week. And that's pretty intense. But it's also a really long time.
Now I just need to figure out who is doing the drive with me. I've had some pretty noble offers. I want to enjoy more of the country this time -- not race across again. But my mom wants me home by my birthday. So, what are you doing Aug 8 - Aug 22 - wanna play?

Hopefully I can refind myself back in NY. I miss me - and I know I'm not the only one.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Parsha Beshalach

Rena
Dvar Torah
1/29/07 HUC

Lean on me. When you’re not strong. I’ll be your friend. I’ll help you carry on. For, well, for that’s the nice thing to do. When someone needs help we help them. When some one needs to be comforted we comfort them. When someone needs a hand, we give them a hand. It’s what we do. We all have friends, we all have acquaintances, we’ve all had those moments that we had to give something up to help someone else. We’ve missed a tv show, been late for a meeting, gotten a little less hw done than we had planned. We knew that the person needed the help so we did it.
Leaning on someone puts a fair amount of pressure on the person holding you up -- a lot of responsibility. Someone doesn’t go out looking to be someone else’s support – the duty usually falls upon the person, perhaps when it’s least expected. What are we to do if someone needs us? What role do we play in the person’s support? What are our obligations? What if you are the person needing help? Who can you depend upon to be there for you?
After God helped Moses part the sea, the Israelites crossed, started wandering the desert, and arrived at their next quandary. Amalek. Moses told Joshua to pick soldiers to battle against Amalek. Moses went to the top of the mountain with his brother Aaron and nephew Hur. When Moses held his hands up the people of Israel would dominate. Unfortunately his hands and arms began to tire. But, when he would bring his hands down they would start to lose. Aaron and Hur placed a stone under Moses for him to sit on. He was still tired. Aaron and Hur stood
“ מזה אחד ומזה אחד ” one on either side of him and they helped Moses by supporting his hands to keep them raised.
Were they commanded to do this? Some of the rabbis think so. I say, they knew what needed to be done. What else were they going to do? Watch everything go bad? Sit idly by? No, they helped Moses out. So they stood there as the sun went down and held up Moses' hands and the power of Moses' hands maintained the power of the people of Israel and they beat Amalek.
Sefer Ha'Aggadah explains, “Since Israel [is] in distress, I too will share their distress with them. For he who shares in the distress of the community will deserve to behold the community’s comforting”
As Jewish professionals we’re handed situations like this all the time – from our congregants, students, friends. We begin to bare the burden of both our community and ourselves. Now, it isn’t often that we find ourselves in the position of Aaron and Hur, needing to make an old man’s hands stay up so that a battle can be won, but we have similar encounters. Helping a friend get over a break up, guiding a congregant through the stages of mourning, preparing our students for bnai mitzvah – these are all mini battles, epics of their own.
Within each of us there is a little bit of Moses. A strong leader with a minor weakness. But his weakness isn’t bad – because needing someone’s support is, apparently, a respectable quality. Perhaps, having a weakness is even good.

May others find you to lean on should they not be strong.
But, just as important, May you always have someone to lean on when you’re not strong.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Bodily Functions

Who needs metamucil when you can get a chai latte from Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf to do the same thing, but faster?

Monday, January 22, 2007

i miss my man

http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/health_medical/article2175019.ece

Friday, January 19, 2007

Such a weird feeling...

So it's slowly making its way around that I'm moving back.
I've clearly gotten some mixed reactions - but the overwhelming response is that it's what I need.
It's weird that I dont know exactly what I'll be doing when I get there - I meet with Sara on Wednesday to break the news to her - but I'm sure it will have gotten to her before then. And I doubt she'll have much emotion about it.

My field instructor says I should get involved with Young Judea and do youth / informal work. She doesnt think I'll ever fit into the formal world.

My ed advisor thinks it's good that i am "attenuating" (she used it a good half dozen times)

My communal advisor/director is so supportive that I am overwhelmed.

So it really comes down to the ed director.

I spent some time looking at the HUC-NY credit stuff. I've already done a lot of their ed stuff. But they have a track for informal ed which sounds really interesting to me. But I have to get approved to go there/get in first.

It's all a lot of thinking and a lot of reflecting.

In other news, i have a first. a side effect of my new meds is constipation. Yes folks, I have not taken a shit since Sunday. At least I finally realized that was why it was happening.

So yeah.
I'm trying to figure out what to do about this blog thing. I've figured out that there are more people reading it than I ever realized. So now I have to be more vague about things. I dont necessarily want some people to know some shit. Ya know? But sometimes I really like writing on it - it's a journal but not one. Because I know my mom is reading it. But it's that there are other people too.

My roommate and his girlfriend just returned from an evening of alcohol consumption. I think I'll go to sleep. tomorrow I get to deal with some problems at work. I dont like problems. But I like work. I also like loans. Mine havent gone through. Thought I'd share.

Under 2 months til I see Asher again.
4 1/2 months til my lease ends?
Under 7 months til I receive my certificate from the SJCS

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

back in la.
i know you all were worried.

i have a sitemeter now. i was intrigued, as i looked at it today, as to how many people looked at my blog multiple times while i was gone. didnt i say i would be gone? fools.

life is changing. developments happening. maybe ill write about that all sometime soon.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

NY NY

I'm leaving for NY this afternoon (yes I have to sit through class today ahhh!)
I am so damn excited to see Asher.
And of course my family etc.
but ugh, Asher. My poor dad has to be in the car with me from the airport. Oops?

Anyway. I'll be there until Tuesday morning. If you need me, cell. I managed not to need my computer (!!!) so I am travelling without it. Which is so relaxing.

til my depressive Tuesday evening, I miss NY, post....


P.S. For those of you who it means something to - Julie's birthday is Sunday (I clearly have something to send her but havent managed to send it yet. I guess it's getting a NY postmark :)) The little girl is turning 25!!! Though honestly, nothing can beat the 2 dozen Kinder eggs on her 2 dozen bday.

Monday, January 08, 2007

canada

i think ill move there.
then i can afford all my meds.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

I am a prophet

I met Michael at a conference the summer after i graduated from college -- it was August 2004.
At that same conference I met a girl. we'll call her "A girl"
and I spent the conference as well as the time after that we hung out in NY, telling her that she was a lesbian.

She laughed it off.

Today I received an IM from her:
"Just wanted to let you know I'm dating a girl hehe"

we hadn't spoken in over a year.

I rock.

Now the only problem would be if she were dating Karen.
But I only say that because I'm masochistic :)

Friday, January 05, 2007

AH!

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/news/archive/2007/01/05/state/n064014S03.DTL


WIND! bitch.

I'm powerless!

blocks and blocks of westwood have no power.
that means no hot shower
no GYM
no light for the lizard
no internet

good thing i had to come into work today.
otherwise i'd be really pissed.

the next significant problem is that i was supposed to make dessert for tonight. looks like it'll be strawberries, whipped cream, and sponge cake. maybe ill get some chocolate syrup for kicks.

poop on power

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

I'm not crazy...

but i ran out of peanut butter.

and i dont think that has ever happened to anyone in my immediately family.

and i was treating myself to the last chocolate pudding in the apartment (i was excited to find it - i havent gone to the supermarket in almost a month) and all i wanted was some peanut butter. and there is none. and i had to eat the pudding without peanut butter because i had already opened it.

crazy, huh?

Chicken Soup for the Rena

almost healthy.
in the sense that i finally feel like i have a cold, not ebola.

ive eaten more chicken soup than ever before. i may be sick of it. no pun intended.

hopefully ill go to work tomorrow.

i called the pup tonight to sing to him. he was asleep so i sang to his grandma. she wasnt too impressed. seems the pup is huge and was lying diagonally across her bed. knocking her off. memories. i think karen got kicked out of bed by him once or twice too. silly guy.

ok ill break down the next week:
tomorrow - work, hollywood tour with lev
friday - therapy, hopefully. work. perhaps shabbat with judah's family (need to figure out if im healthy enough)
saturday - clean up apt
sunday - teach. L WORD PREMIERE with robyn
monday- first day back at school ho hum. therapy perhaps. only perhaps. i think i want a break.
tuesday - school/work
wednesday - school, PACK
thursday - school, stay for tfillah bc ill need to kill time. then ihave a 4 pm flight out of LAX to JFK!!! I land a little after midnight, go home, go to my puppy and SPOON WITH HIM FOR 5 days straiiighhhhhhhhhhhhhttttt

puppy puppy puppy puppy puppppppppppppppppppppy pppppppppyuppppppppppppy

i have not seen him in FIVE MONTHS.
i miss that man.

oh and i get to see other people.

BUT PUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPY and i will cuddle and snuggle and kiss and play and rub bellies and go for walks and give kisses and fetch logs and EVERYTHING. because i love him SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much.

puppy ;)

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

poop on your head.

i hate being sick.
and this is one of those sicks that i cant do anything. watching tv is wearing me out.

lev brought me chicken soup last night. i liked it.

ive watched most of dexter. but i cant get episode 8 yet. a friend suggested veronica mars so im downloading some of that. i want to see the tbs show my boys but i cant find it for free.

a friend said it sucks that this is how i feel on vacation. but at least i dont have anyplace i have to be. except work. but they can forgive me.

in more important news, i see asher in 9 days. and i even get to see some of my favorites too. which is exciting.

julie's birthday is in 2 weeks. any suggestions for what i should send her?

oh. the other joy of being sick is how fucking lonely i am. sigh.